you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
