Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i will never coherently bang her
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Alive.
So much puke
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
