if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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