PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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