Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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