got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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