Plan B is the new Plan A
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
