He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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