i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
