so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
