he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
3pm strippers are depressing
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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