this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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