You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
