i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
