I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I am full of burrito and curiosity
How's work?
Spinning.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
