Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
tell your sister to shave her snatch
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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