How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
