weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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