We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
