Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
