Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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