He kissed a someone with a penis
vagina is talking i cant
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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