We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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