accomplished twins. life is a go
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
