i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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