it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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