I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
