I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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