Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
