They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Randomize
