i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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