Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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