i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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