Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
