I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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