My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
