so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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