Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
