Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
