Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
