I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
