hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
