Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
