i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
