dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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