is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
