Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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