Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
