So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
