Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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